Well, we’ve been just inundated with questions since the site opened. Just inundated. So here are some responses just so I don’t get completely snowed under with correspondence. No doubt I’ll have to add a few more answers over time, but I think this is pretty comprehensive.

How many questions have you received exactly?
I told you. We were inundated.

Why do you take such an aggressive stance against mediums?
I always stand like this.

What are you doing in my garden?
Well, inspiration is a funny thing. It can strike at any time, and in any place.

What is it about the nineteen-fifties that fascinates you?
Did you read the “about” page? Did you?

What is it about the nineteen-fifties that fascinates you?
I know this is a “frequently asked questions”, but this is ridiculous.

Does it help to have seen the films being parodied in your show?
Hopefully, the podcasts can be enjoyed on their own. If not, we’re sunk. However, there will be a recommended viewing topic introduced which lists some of the more famous films. We think most of these can be enjoyed without listening to the podcasts. You decide.

A man has a clock that keeps excellent time, but that he has unfortunately forgotten to wind. Faced with this stopped clock, he recalls his friend in town has one that’s the same make. He went to visit his friend, spent the evening with him, and then returned and set his own clock. How did he do this correctly without knowing the length of the trip?

Before leaving the house, the man starts the clock, giving him a time, A. On arriving at his friend’s house, he notes the time b. When he leaves he notes the time c. When he gets home, he notes the time on his own clock, D. His total time away is D-A. His time at his friend’s house is c-b. The time spent travelling is 2t = (D-A) – (c-b) The time when he gets home is therefore c+t.

What’s you general approach toward the paranormal?
On tiptoe.

What happened to Episode 1?
Episode 1 was originally a pilot, and was never intended to be released. In the end it came out better than we thought it would, so we released it for a limited time only. Now it’s gone. Maybe one day it will come back again. These things happen. Because we didn’t feel it was our best material, we didn’t want it to be the first thing people listened to.

Why didn’t you follow your father into plumbing?
Is that you, Mum?

Will there be a second series?
Yes. We’ll start writing after the special to be broadcast in August to coincide with the Edinburgh Fringe.

Do you do live shows?
No.

If you could be an animal, what sort of animal would you be?
A hard one to pin down. Some kind of jelly fish, maybe.

If you could be a science fiction character…
I’m going to stop you there.

Is this all you could come up with?
It’s been a long day. Leave me alone.

(Phone rings and is answered).
Writer: Hello.
Producer: I think your draft got mislaid in the post. Can you email it?
Writer: Sorry. The dog ate my proofs.
Producer: What kind of excuse is that? I thought you writers were supposed to be more original.
Writer: I’ll speak to the dog.
Producer: Couldn’t you just chase after it?
Writer: I have a leg injury.
Producer: I don’t remember you having a dog anyway.
Writer: It’s a small one. You probably didn’t notice.
Producer: Big appetite, though. What’s its name?
Writer: Er… Jim.
Producer: Er Jim?
Writer: Yeah, not its full name.
Producer: What’s its full name?
Writer: We were never properly introduced.
Producer: Right. Email this afternoon?
Writer: I’m on it.
(Dial Tone)

(phone rings and is answered)
Writer: Hello.
Producer: I was phoning to see how you’re getting along with your bad leg.
Writer: Oh, you know.
Producer: Good. How’s the script for the next episode doing?
Writer: Did I tell you I’ve got a leg injury?
Producer: Does it stop you typing?
Writer: No.
Producer: So you’re nearly done?
Writer: I’m in a lot of discomfort.
Producer: You need to take your mind off it. Have you tried writing?
Writer: I have to keep my leg elevated.
Producer: Does wiggling your fingers make any difference?
Writer: No.
Producer: When can I have a draft?
Writer: When do the demons next let you out on day release?
Producer: Tuesday.
Writer: Then it’s in the post.
(dial tone)

A few people have been a bit uncertain about podcasts, what they are, how to use them. We’d hate to think you were missing out, so:

Our podcast is like a radio show, but you can listen to it at any time. Well, within reason. We don’t recommend listening while on jury duty, asleep, or editing your own podcast.

In our case you can either:

• listen online at the website;
• download the mp3 file from the website to play later (through music playing software on your pc, or transferred to an mp3 player);
• or, you can use iTunes to download it and then play it on your pc or transfer it to an iPod.

If you choose to use iTunes, you can subscribe to the series and it will download the episodes automatically as we post them.

Our sketch show style episodes are between 20 and 30 minutes long and so are ideal for listening to while commuting.

Everything has to start somewhere.

And it helps if they start with a pointless truism, in our experience. We Are Not Alone has indeed started, and it certainly was somewhere. Subject to temporal anomalies, recording on the first ever We Are Not Alone podcast started on December 8th 2010. This is the first real landmark for the series, because none of the writing process is particularly interesting. The podcast will be released completely free of charge early in the new year.

The journey here has been a real struggle, and we use “real” in the sense of “made up for the press release because everything has to be a journey these days”. However, the production has not been without its setbacks: impressive given we have no set.

One of the rejects from the friendly script selection process

In fact the team have suffered all three indignities known to man: delay, injury and marriage. But they were a strong team and we knew they’d ride it out. The delay and injury were manageable too.

Work on the scripts for future episodes is continuing apace, and our friendly script selection scheme seems to be working with our writers. Both the original one and his replacement. If nothing else the leg injury we gave the latter has kept him near the typewriter.

The cast clearly enjoying the hilarious script

The inaugural recording went well. The cast were, without exception, exceptional, and the recordings are the best we’ve done yet.

All in all, we’d like to declare this a success, because that seems to be the convention in this situation. Let’s crack open the champagne. Again. We’ve learned an enormous amount: some of us can almost use the equipment now. It’s been a great journey and we’ve all come a long way. Except for the bloke that broke his Achilles tendon. He hasn’t been anywhere at all.

MEP Spencer Warden has launched a legal challenge for Newton’s second law of motion, calling it “outdated and morally wrong.”  In his statement, issued today, he says “These so called laws have been in force since 1687. They’re outdated and in need of radical reform.”

Warden also quotes a recent poll by Sceintific American which shows that 54% of people no longer believe in Newton’s laws, although it is speculated that the poll may have been distorted by anti-Newton protesters from “Equilibrium”, a non-violent US pressure group opposed to all forms of force.

A spokesman for the government said that Warden’s actions were not in line with policy, and that the government had no firm position on the laws, possibly due to equal opposition. He also denied that Warden was deliberately causing friction.

Mr Warden was due to be attending a conference on Newton’s laws next week, but was forced to cancel when he slipped and fell on ice outside his home.

Well, it’s December, so it must be time to wheel out the We Are Not Alone non-religious Advent Calendar, counting down the 24 Christing days until Shopmas, when we all celebrate consumerism in all its forms by throwing all our unnecessary gifts into charity shop bags to help the less well-off. Presumably the less well-off have need of cast-off Shopmas themed ornaments and knitwear. I digress.

Day 1 of our Advent Calendar was a disappointing affair, as box 1 contained the advent calendar itself. This was not altogether surprising, as the original advent calendar has only one box, and we were somewhat perplexed as to where the other  23 gifts were going to come from.

So here’s to day 2! The first proper box! It contains a mini version of this year’s advent calendar to use next year. I am angered and saddened by this, as it’s not at all in the Shopmas spirit. Here we are trying to exceed even the excesses of last year, turning up the heating to 11, adding even more decorative packaging to the outsides of already overpackaged goods,  buying even more snacks for after the massive Shopmas dinner, and here is a perfectly legitimate corporation, reducing its own future sales. Humbug.